Did you know that wives affect their husband’s character? This is a direct result of their dress, speech, activity, attitude, etc. So before you make that comment, wear that dress, go to that restaurant and order that drink, think about how it reflects on your husband.
I am a part of my Hubby’s identity.
When I married Hubby I became part of him. I became an extension of his identity. When people think of Hubby, I am included in that thought most likely.
My behavior, actions, words, dress, activity, etc are all an extension of Hubby. With that mind, the things that I choose to say and do reflect upon him negatively or positively.
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4
While this thought is definitely rooted in Christianity, the secular world realizes this as well. “Ask April” is a relationship and etiquette expert online. Here is her answer to a question about how wives are viewed as an extension of their husbands.
Even the etymology of the word “wife” is indicative of this point:
The Hebrew word for wife is “ish-shaw,” which is the feminine form of “ish,” which means husband. Conceptually, as the woman was an extension from the man, the word for wife is also an extension of the word for man. Likewise, the English word woman denotes a man with a womb. In the Greek, the word for wife is “gyne,” which is from the root “ginomai.” This is the same root as the word gynecology, which is the study of a woman or female. – an excerpt taken from this Patheos blog entry, “What is the Role of the Wife?”
There is no middle, neutral ground.
With every day that I live, and with every action I take, I am either making my Hubby look good or bad to those watching. The same could be said of my Hubby in regards to me. But today I’m just talking about myself, wives.
With whatever outfit I choose to go outside my home in, that is a reflection upon my Hubby because I am his wife. With whatever words I choose to use in conversation with others, that is a reflection upon my Hubby because I am a part of him.
There’s no neutral ground when it comes to how I make Hubby look. (There are some things that don’t matter as much, like: what type of cookie I bring to a party.) But I can’t think that my actions day after day don’t affect Hubby in some way. I am always either helping or hindering Hubby’s testimony and character.
Every area of my life affects him.
There isn’t an area of my life that doesn’t affect Hubby positively or negatively. While that seems like a bold and general statement to make, if you think about it, it’s totally true.
- How I dress affects what people think of him: skimpily, appropriate to the occasion, etc.
- What I say affects what people think of him: my actual words, my tone with others,
- Where I go and with whom affects how others view him: kinds of friends, kinds of stores, restaurants, social gatherings, etc.
- What I buy at a store affects others views of him: alcohol, cigarettes, addicting substances, trashy magazines and romance novels, skimpy clothing – just to name a few.
Some of those things listed may not be a problem for your family, but that’s not really my point. My point is that somewhere along the line you’ve either solidly or generally come to a decision about certain topics and issues. Are you honoring those decisions?
I don’t want any of my choices to compromise Hubby’s character or integrity. Sometimes I do this out of ignorance. But once it’s said or done, the harm is there. All I can do from that point is to learn and move on. Sometimes I’m given the opportunity of correcting myself or “fixing” it in some way and that is a blessing.
My own morality can be a great source of pain or profit to him.
How I act, dress and what I say is a reflection of my heart. Out of my heart comes my decisions about how I speak, how I dress, where I choose to go, etc. If my heart is in step with positive influences (for myself in tune with God and the Bible), then my outward actions will follow suit.
When I am constantly pouring positive influences into my heart and life, then I am more likely to act and respond well or morally good. For myself, I read the Bible each morning and have prayer time. Hubby and I are on a marriage book reading schedule to continue our growth in that area together. We also read parenting books together so that we will raise our kids in accordance with not only the laws of polite society, but the Bible’s principles for living. These are all positive (and for us: Godly) influences that we are pouring into our lives.
Anyway, back to this main point, if I’m pouring positive influences into my heart and life, then I am able to be the best wife for Hubby. I will be making wise decisions. I will be able to discern what to say in difficult situations. I will be more likely to respond well. These are all things that Hubby needs to succeed!
Hubby needs a wife who will give good, sound advice. Hubby needs a wife who will respond well to difficult situations when they occur. Hubby needs a wife who will be a good example so that he can grow as well. Hubby needs a wife who is motivated to do her job, whatever that may be.
My moral, spiritual temperature is of great importance to him. That’s why reading my Bible, prayer and reading good books is important to me. I want to be the best I can for Hubby!