Hubby and I are reading this parenting book, “The Power of Positive Parenting”, and I found this quote within one of the chapters:
“Today is not forever.”
I began to think of all of the times that I was fearful that today’s stress, emotions, children’s behavior, marriage problems, family difficulties, etc would last forever. And oftentimes my mood and attitude for the day was affected by this thought that today’s problems are forever problems.
I would become harsh with Baby Boy because he was being defiant and not wanting to eat his vegetables (which I know he enjoys!) I might be in despair because of a marriage issue that I thought would not ever be resolved. I might become angry and bitter towards family members who were making our lives difficult that day or week.
But to know that today is not forever is liberating! It’s a good thought to remember when overwhelmed by any kind of negative stress or emotion!
1. Stress will always be prevalent.
I’ve found that no matter my financial, career, marital, familial, emotional or whatever other state there is, that stress will always creep in! No matter how happy and content I think I will be once I achieve something, there’s always some stress in life. No matter how profitable I am in a certain area, there will always be stress in another area. It’s just life.
It’s unavoidable. But my reaction to stresses in my life is what is important. I can choose to let stress overwhelm me. Or I can choose positive ways to deal with that stress.
The stress of today is not forever. It will pass, disappear and fade into memories.
2. Children’s behavior is mold-able.
In my journey in parenting, Hubby and I have specific goals. And there are days when progress towards those goals seems lacking. In fact, I think we are moving backwards sometimes!
Baby Boy refuses to eat what is served for dinner. Baby Boy doesn’t nap well during the day. Baby Boy destroys the house as he scatters everything everywhere. Baby Boy is constantly disobedient. Those things can be very disappointing to see.
I used to get so worried that his not eating well would be a continual thing. And I would plan for a struggle at every meal. I would be harsh in my words or attitude towards him. But sometimes Baby Boy has an “off” day.
If he had an “off” day for napping, I would prepare for a whole nap schedule change and it would totally throw me off!
But children’s behavior for today will not last forever. Baby Boy will learn. And his behavior is moldable. Today may be hard, but it’s not forever.
3. Marriage problems can be resolved.
Sometimes marriage conflicts and arguments can seem so daunting. Sometimes they seem like they’ll never be resolved. Sometimes it seems like Hubby will never budge on an issue. But there is hope! Any two people who are willing to work through a problem, can indeed find a solution! (And if your wanting resolve is one-sided, you can still be a good wifely example and pray about the issue.)
I know, from personal experience, that even the most seemingly improbable issues can find resolution! Hubby and I came from such different backgrounds when we were married. This fact alone made it a challenge to find equal ground, come to compromises and even work through our differences. But step by step we have been able to resolve our marital differences and issues.
To resolve our issues, we’ve done several things:
- We constantly put good information into our brain! We attend church regularly. We read the Bible together. We read marriage books together.
- We seek the counsel of wise & Godly couples.
- We work on ourselves. In order for each of us to have a thriving relationship with each other, we know that we must first have a thriving relationship with God. I need to continually be putting good information into myself in order to exemplify the traits of a helpful, Godly wife.
- We fight fairly. You’re going to fight or argue. But you must have some rules for this so it doesn’t get out of hand, destructive or unkind.
- We pray. Sometimes compromise on an issue will only be attainable through God’s help. A conscience can be worked upon by the Holy Spirit. Our positive, Godly attitude can influence our spouse for good. I’m not talking about manipulation. I’m talking about praying for the issue to be resolved – whether that be through a change in you or in your spouse.
Today is not forever. Today’s problem will not go on forever! Following healthy steps towards a resolution will definitely make an impact!
4. Family difficulties can be worked through.
There are two ends on which a family difficulty can be worked on: your end and their end. Since you can’t really do anything about their end, work on your own first!
This topic is so broad and the treatment could apply to a number of situations. When there’s a difficulty in a relationship, the trust, camaraderie, respect, and even love may be broken. And when that applies to a family member, it’s hard to deal with.
You will most likely encounter that family member multiple times a year. So you and he will deal with it in some way. It will either be ignored, stifled and buried under a sea of emotions. Or it will be addressed and a number of results could come of that. And then there’s everything in-between.
Like in marriage, if two people are willing to come to a compromise or solution, it can be done! But sadly that doesn’t always happen. If the other end of that difficult family relationship isn’t willing to budge, doesn’t recognize his part in the issue or refuses to communicate, then your hands are tied…as far as a resolution goes.
But you can always work through a difficulty on your end! Don’t allow yourself to become unforgiving and bitter towards that person. Let the anger go. Realize that people will be people. Realize that today isn’t forever and that one day a resolution could be met! And pray for that person and your relationship with them.
5. Emotions are easily influenced.
Women have crazy emotions! I know I do! And many times I don’t even realize that my emotions have gotten all that crazy! Hubby has to tell me!
Sometimes the crazy emotions come on gradually. Sometimes I just wake up crying! Some days are just full of tears! And on those days, everything seems bleak!
The argument with Hubby, the crazy energy that Baby Boy has, the mounds of laundry that need to be done, the grocery shopping that seems so like a mountain to accomplish – these are things that can get my crazy emotions stirred up! They’re easily influenced!
And in that moment, reality and reason do not exist! Only my crazy thoughts are in my head.
- “Every week is going to be this hard!”
- “Will the housework ever stop coming?!”
- “Will Baby Boy ever learn to stop throwing his cup on the floor?”
- “How am I going to get _____ done this week, month?”
- “I can’t handle getting up this early every day!”
I think I’ve said all of that before like a dozen times! Because sometimes life does get overwhelming. But today is not forever. And my crazy emotions today are not forever! And the influences of today will not be forever!