4 Ways to Support Your Husband – thoughts from his point of view

Husbands have a lot on their plate. They work full time. They have home responsibilities. They take time with the kids. They fix the cars. They vacuum and cook when in a pinch. They wear many hats! They need just as much encouragement and support as we wives do – maybe even more!

I asked my husband what he needs in the way of support. And these are his answers on how to support your husband!

support your husband


1. Listen when I talk.

When we were dating our husbands to be, we listened to them talk about their profession, their dreams, their opinions, their day, everything!

But the longer we are married, the more we take each other for granted. The less we listen. The more entrenched in our busy lives we get, the less attention is given to the one we love the most.

It takes work to keep marriages alive! Showing support to your husband is no different. They need to feel important and validated.

They may not get this at their workplace. They must get it in their home – their castle! It can do amazing things if a husband feels like a king in his own home. It will translate over to other parts of his life.

If we wives don’t make an effort to listen when our husbands speak,husbands will find someone who will listen. It tears them down to think that wives don’t care about their thoughts, ideas, dreams, opinions, etc. They need the validation that someone truly cares and supports them!

2. Give praise.

I think husbands must feel like oafs sometimes. With all our scolding, correction and rebuke, it’s a wonder husbands still have an ego! We wives clean and organize the home and when Hubby puts something in the “wrong” place, we correct.

We are the experts on our babies and children, and when Hubby does something “wrong”, we rebuke. With all of this negativity, it doesn’t leave much room for praise.

Husbands need praise! They need to feel and know that they are doing a good job with the kids, with their job, and with their attention to us.

It never hurts to praise! They have fragile hearts and egos that need to be built up. We are the best person to do this because we are the ones who love them most!

3. Say loving things.

This is an area that I am CONSTANTLY working on. I have a matter-of-fact, task oriented attitude. I oftentimes am so busy getting things done and accomplished that I fail to say things in a loving way. But husbands still like the sap. :) They need it!

Oftentimes Hubby lets me know when I need to say something in a nicer tone or fashion. I’m grateful for his direction because I don’t always see the error of my talking to him.

Before I ask him to do something or bring up a touchy subject or talk about an issue that has upset me, I weigh my words. You do catch more flies with honey. And I have to work hard to make sure my words are honey!

Loving words upon his arrival home, when he reaches a goal, when he is helpful, etc. are usually easier for me. They’re more natural.

I saw my mother treat my dad lovingly in this way and I viewed it as a “normal” occurrence.

I understand now that some marriages are devoid of it. But Hubby does need it because he can be just as fragile as I can be sometimes. And with all of his hard work for me and the family, he deserves it!

4. Give attention when I come home.

It is more important for me to show Hubby love upon his arrival home, than for me to have dinner on the table. I didn’t always think this way – not until Hubby told me it was what he preferred.

With my task-oriented personality, I assumed Hubby would appreciate the hot meal ready to go more than he would a kiss and a hug. At least that’s what I would prefer.

But Hubby’s had a hard day at work, battling people, traffic, conflict and life! His home is his haven and castle! And he wants validation when he walks in the door.

I’m about to have my first child so I don’t know the difficulties yet of managing multiple children at the same time Hubby is due home. But I do know that I will make it a priority to kiss and hug him when he walks in at least.

I also make sure to ask Hubby about his day. Usually this can be done while finishing dinner or cleaning up the house. But my interest in him and his day makes him feel important to me. You know, Hubbies don’t always know how important they are to wives unless we tell or show them!

You must work at PRESERVING LOVE in your marriage! Because it doesn’t just automatically stay in the “honeymoon stage” forever without some help.

How do you support your husband?


  1. says

    It is funny how much #4 means to them. You wouldn’t think it would really matter, but my husband feels very happy if I get up, walk over, give him a kiss, etc. I also agree with #2 so much – they need someone to feed their ego and build them up. Frequently they spend most of their day being beaten down. Great post and important to remember:)
    Seana Turner recently posted…School Didn’t Prepare Me For…My Profile

  2. says

    I agree! I am a task oriented person and am very matter of fact with how I communicate, so it is a great reminder to stop and think before replying or bringing an issue to him. Open communication HAS to have listening at the same level as talking-great reminders!

  3. says

    My hubby and I just had this conversation the other day, as a result of an argument . I knew that making him feel important and validated was important to him, but never realized that a simple hug when he gets home from work was important. I’m not a naturally affectionate person, so I just don’t think about those things sometimes. Thanks for the reminders!
    Miki English recently posted…Beginning My Venture Into Picture BooksMy Profile

  4. says

    Good post! When my husband comes home, I always ask how he is doing from working. Sometimes, I make his favorite snacks before his arrival home. He is happy to see that his favorite snacks are right there on the kitchen table. :) Thank you for sharing – By the way, I found your post from Sverve.com and I’ve endorsed yours :)

    Joyce @ livelaughlovepost.com
    Joyce Cortes Mackenroth recently posted…4 Simple Ways to Show Pink for Breast Cancer AwarenessMy Profile

  5. says

    I love this post. So much! I recently read an article written by a woman who said she’d finally come to the realization that she treated her husband as if she were his mother, instead of as his wife — and she had done that for years. She got so angry with him because he bought the wrong kind of ground beef from the grocery store. After she “scolded” him, she realized that he only did what she told him to. He had stopped AFTER working all day to buy what she told him to get. But apparently he did it wrong. I know I’m so guilty of that as well, and it’s really made me think about the things I say to him. We love our spouses more than anyone, but we can easily tear them down with our words and not even realize it. Thank you for these reminders!
    Jenni E. {Sweet Pennies from Heaven} recently posted…Over 40 Incredible Summer Recipes to Indulge In This Summer #MomsCheckInMy Profile

    • Danielle Wells says

      Hi Jenni! Thanks for reading! You’re so right about treating our men like kids! I’m so bad at this! And because I used to be a schoolteacher, I feel like that instinct is even worse! But reading good marriage books or articles keep me on track! :)


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