For some pregnancy is an exciting and anticipated journey. For others it may mean something totally different. But for all managing emotions during pregnancy can be difficult.
Although pregnancy is oftentimes portrayed as a time of great joy, such is not the case for all women. Expectations are dashed, emotions are flaring and life gets a little more complicated.
Even in my own pregnancy, there have been many ups and downs. There have been times that I questioned even wanting a child. Then there are times of great anticipation for our baby boy! Needless to say, my emotions have been off the charts! Here are a few things that have helped me manage.
1. Everyone copes differently.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned during this pregnancy it is that every woman is different. My experiences and feelings will not be the exact same of my mothers or friends or anyone! To truly realize this is half the battle!
Responding to changes in your body and emotions is the other part! And that can be hard too because our expectations are not always met.
I am an emotional woman and a very private individual. Those two traits have brought on their share of difficulties. I cry at the drop of a hat…much more so than before. And being a private person, I want to be as inconspicuous as I can…..something that is hardly attainable when you’re pregnant! I even have a list of things I WISH ABOUT PREGNANCY beforehand!
The point is: it’s okay to be different. It’s okay that you cry. It’s okay that you don’t want everyone reaching out to touch your stomach. It’s just okay. And there’s no need to beat yourself up over the fact that you aren’t measuring up to expectations or similar to other pregnant women in attitude.
2. A support is necessary.
Hubby is amazing! He has been my confidante and support through my pregnancy so far! Although he doesn’t pretend to understand everything, he tries to be patient, loving, kind, supportive and helpful. Without him, without someone to share everything I’m feeling, I would be lost!
Every woman needs that kind of support. If Hubby is unable to be that, find a friend who can fill the void.
Because most likely at some point you will need an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, someone to cook and clean for you, etc.
Don’t think that you can walk this pregnancy road alone.
3. Realize your story will be unique.
I think this was the hardest point for me to learn. I assumed that pregnancy experiences differed very little. And if strayed too far from the “normal” path, I would be worried.
If I had feelings of unhappiness for baby (which I assumed was wrong and not the norm) I would be upset with myself. If I was more tired and had less energy than what I thought was normal, I was upset. If I had inklings to be more naturalistic and homeopathic (which is viewed as weird sometimes), I was upset for being too different.
But each woman’s pregnancy is different. You don’t have to be like your mom, or sister or best friend!
If you have feelings of despair or unworthiness over baby coming, that’s not abnormal!
Many women feel overwhelmed and pensive at times. If you want to cloth diaper, go for it! Every woman is different and will handle things their own way. If you want to go the natural route and have your baby in a birth center, don’t let others deter you. Do what you think is right!
It’s almost like pregnancy peer pressure when we measure ourselves against other women’s pregnancies. Looking at it that way may clear some fog away. Peer pressure is very real but when viewed as such, the issues don’t seem so dire.
4. Give yourself slack.
I read this sentence one day and felt totally relieved: You were previously the life support system for one person and now you’re the life support system for two!
Realizing that you are using food and energy to grow another human being inside you is HUGE! It’s okay to feel tired. It’s okay not to get dressed til noon. It’s okay not to have a homecooked meal every night. It’s okay not to clean as much as you used to. It’s okay that you get sick frequently.
If you beat yourself up over unmet expectations you’ll be miserable. So go ahead and give yourself some room to breath. Realize that you will need slack.
5. Prepare for the unknown.
Many times our feelings of anxiety and worry come from our fear of the unknown.
These questions zoom through our mind and we dwell on and worry over these unexpected or unknown issues. What exactly happens to my body during labor? What are hospital procedures? What can I expect those first couple days with a new baby?
The only way to get relief is to educate yourself!
The internet is amazing! You can find out pretty much anything you need to know on a subject with a click of mouse pad! In this day there is no excuse for lack of knowledge on an issue. So do yourself a favor and put your fears to rest with some facts!
6. Remember the physical!
Don’t forget to take care of yourself physically! Make sure you’re eating well and healthily. And take time out for yourself! The BEST THING FOR YOUR FEET could also be extremely helpful for your mind and body!
Don’t get caught unawares! Read 7 THINGS A NEW MOTHER NEEDS!