Ever since I was a little girl, all I truly wanted to be when I grew up was a wife and mother. That was what excited me. That was my passion. And now I’m so blessed to be living that dream!
For me to say that children are a blessing and not inconveniencing is easy. (Read below for my explanation of that) But I understand that not all mothers can say that with ease for various reasons.
Sometimes motherhood is hard! And sometimes our children can be really difficult! And sometimes life feels bleak, and suffocating. So I’ve jotted down a few things that help me to keep my focus and stay positive!
1. Not everyone is blessed with children.
My heart breaks for those women who want children of their own yet their bodies aren’t capable of it. And the more into motherhood that I go, the more women I meet who this is a problem in their lives.
This fact alone makes me thankful for the children that I have been blessed with! Birth is truly a miracle and just because it is common makes it no less special!
On that note, even conception can be a challenging thing. So many things must happen in our bodies for a baby to born – a healthy baby. If this is an easy thing for you to accomplish, praise the Lord! Not every woman has that luxury!
2. You have a special calling.
I’ve always wanted lots of children. And I understood the great responsibility, job and effort rearing children takes. So now that I’m in throes of “toddler-hood” with Baby Boy and 5 months pregnant with Baby Girl it’s not a bummer to me. I expect the explorative behavior of Baby Boy and I also expect to be super-tired during the day! And it doesn’t bother me because this is what motherhood is. This is the life I wanted and desired.
Mothers have a special calling. We are the one who carries and nurtures the babies. We are the one who baby runs to when he’s upset or hurt. We have gentleness and patience that our Hubby’s don’t always have with babies. We have a special bond with our children.
I think it’s a privilege to stay at home all day with my babies. I count it a privilege to watch them grow and help them to learn. And for me, the call of a career doesn’t appeal. I’m content with my place in life as a wife and mother and homemaker.
(I understand this is not for everyone, nor can everyone do this. I’m just sharing my thoughts and experience.)
3. Life experiences affect our view of motherhood.
This is an obvious statement, but I included it because it’s so pertinent! In comparison to others, my experiences have greatly prepared me for motherhood. (This isn’t to say I’m not constantly surprised and challenged by things, because I totally am!)
My experiences before I was married, growing up and even while married before children really helped prepare me the task of motherhood. What kind of experiences am I talking about?
A great example of motherhood – I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home with a stay-at-home-mother who exemplified Godly motherhood. She was a homemaker in every sense: cook, baker, teacher, crafter, decorator, perfectionist cleaner, etc. She taught me everything I needed to know about keeping a home. Being blessed to have this example, helped me to be prepared for my future.
Single, adult experiences – I was a working woman for 5 years after college before I was married and quit the workforce. I had an apartment with my best friend. I had my own car. I had my own life. I see that time of singleness as a blessing! I know what it’s like to live on my own. I know what it’s like to be lonely. I know what it’s like to be a single girl and have fun! I don’t crave that that kind of life now. Because I was able to have those experiences, I don’t wonder what it’s like and romanticize what I’m “missing out on.”
Hubby & I time – Hubby and I were married 2 years before I got pregnant with Baby Boy. Our plan was to wait and have kids after a couple years, so that we would have time to get to know each other. And it worked out that way. I’m glad we did this because we had that special time together. I know what it’s like and I don’t crave it now. Just like my single, adult experiences, I’m thankful for the time, but I’m glad I’ve journeyed that road and have moved on.
It’s good to reflect upon your own experiences and views on motherhood. This may clue you in to why you are feeling a certain way. This may help you to understand why you value ____ over ____. To know and understand yourself is often the first step in changing thought processes or behaviors.
4. Children need guidance.
Sometimes children can seem annoying, clingy, inconveniencing and too much to deal with. (A lot of our thoughts about this depends much on our own mood!) Correcting, rebuking, punishing, teaching – that’s much of a mother’s day! And it gets exhausting!
Children need guidance. They need us to teach them to be civilized. They need us to help them learn. And with this in mind, it helps when we begin to feel overwhelmed with negative feelings.
Children aren’t trying to be inconveniencing to us. They aren’t trying to drive us crazy. They just need to learn. They need guidance. They need us to be patient and loving with them. Don’t forget this simple truth as you go through your day!
5. Children have a great capacity for love!
Your children love you! They want to make you smile. They want to give you hugs and kisses! They also want you to be proud of them. They want your praise and attention.
It isn’t their goal to be rude, annoying, clingy, etc. They are just trying to find their way through life. And they need us to help them!
This ideology of motherhood is largely dependent on your attitude. It’s all in your mindset, your opinions, your experiences and background.
I challenge you to think back on your experiences and reflect on how they currently affect how you view your state of motherhood.