One of my jobs as a wife is to be Hubby’s cheerleader! He’s the main breadwinner for our family. He works hard every day for our family. He has the weight of the world on his shoulders. I want to be his encourager and cheerleader! I want to take some pressure off of him and brighten his life. He needs it!
But sometimes being a cheerleader gets lost in the shuffle of life. We wives get busy with housework and kids and schooling. Career wives have their own set of workplace struggles. Sometimes I forget about Hubby’s hard days at work because my days are equally difficult and stressful. Yet I believe it’s still one my jobs to complete! Here are three ways to cheerlead your husband to success!
1. Be there.
I’ve heard Hubby say dozens of times that the best part of his day is when he comes home to me. He feels at peace, calmed and loved just by my presence. So I’ve made it a priority to be at home when he arrives. (I like to have dinner prepared as well but sometimes that doesn’t happen.) I make time for him in his first 15 minutes home by listening to his day, sitting on the sofa and talking with him.
Being there is not always easy though. Being available to drop whatever I’m doing when he walks through the door is not always convenient. (At this point in my life, I don’t have a passel of children to look after so I do have the opportunity right now.) But it’s important to Hubby and for cheerleading purposes and for our marriage. I’m one of those people who is always on the move, doing something, getting something accomplished, etc…so to sit down amid my work and put everything on hold for several minutes is hard for me. But I do my best with the Lord’s help to sacrifice for Hubby because I love him.
2. Be positive.
Be positive when he vents. Hubby shares a lot with me about workplace struggles and personal feelings of irritation. He vents. No problem! I listen. And when I do respond, I try to keep it positive. The last thing Hubby needs is a wife who chides, criticizes or reprimands him. Of course there is a place for negative or confrontational conversation. But that kind of communication isn’t best when he’s just arrived home and is venting.
Be positive when he accomplishes something. Hubby does al ot of work around our apartment: hanging pictures, vacuuming, taking out the trash, washing clothes, putting dishes away, etc. I make it a point not to criticize the way he does that work. It’s easy for me to think “well, he could’ve done this more efficiently” or “he didn’t vacuum that area as well as I would have.” But he’s not me. I’m OCD about cleaning and housework and he’s really doing me a favor by completing that job for me. Too if I criticize he won’t want to do it again. Criticism and negativity eat away at his manhood.
Be positive when he fails. Hubby will fail; all of us do at some point. But we don’t need to focus on that failure. Forgive and move on. Encourage him to do better next time. And leave it at that. Think about yourself in the same situation. You wouldn’t want someone analyzing and criticizing your every move and planning out your future steps.
I was a teacher before I was married and dealing with children is something that is borne into us women. Sometimes I find that I treat Hubby as a child. He fails so I reprimand him, create a plan for next time and analyze his movements until then. Maybe that works with kids, but with Hubby he feels patronized and belittled, as we would feel if we were treated the same way. Why do we think Hubby won’t feel that way? Do we view him as a grown-up child? We shouldn’t. Given the chance, most Hubby’s will put their best foot forward and do better next time.
3. Be servant-minded.
God intends for husband and wife to encourage each other, to lift each other up and push each other to success. Unfortunately this doesn’t depict most marriages in America. Why? Because we are ultimately selfish creatures. It takes work to be a good, Godly, attentive, uplifting spouse. And most won’t put in the work.
If you’re going to be an effective cheerleader you’ll have to have an attitude of servanthood. Cheerleading your spouse on to success takes effort and sacrifice. Besides a grateful heart from Hubby (which I think is worth gold!) that is all all that you may receive from your cheerleading efforts. You will not get medals, it may not be reciprocated and it may go unnoticed. So why do it? Because God says so. Because it will strengthen your marriage. Because it’s the right thing to do.
Hubby is currently taking college courses to complete his bachelors degree. Hooray! The road to this point, though, has not been easy. When we were married two years ago, I knew this was a course that he should finish. So I prayed and I encouraged him to work at completing his degree. Honestly, at times, I’m sure I was a complete nag! It took me quite a while to realize that nagging and criticizing was doing nothing to help the situation.
It wasn’t until a couple months ago that he decided to pursue it. Getting him to that point took effort. It took restraint on my part not to push or nag. It took a lot prayer. It took alot of cheerleading. I didn’t realize what work, effort and sacrifice the future months (now past) would hold for his entrance into college!
Hubby works full time. I took it upon myself to get his college transcript in order, get him enrolled into school, etc. Oh my goodness! Tons of work, hours spent on the phone and email! Finally it paid off and now Hubby has completed his first semester back in college!
I say this to exemplify cheerleading. Hubby needed me to be there for him. He needed me not to criticize his life decisions (not finishing college). He needed me to do some of the work (servanthood). If I had not had the Lord’s help in responding correctly to the situation, in sacrificing my time to get him enrolled, in staying positive toward him, he would most likely not be in college now.
I am not an amazing person. I don’t do most things right. Our marriage is not perfect. But I do have the Lord’s help! And that is EVERYTHING! He has taught me through his Word and good marriage books how to be a better wife and to be the cheerleader Hubby needs!